10 Things Never to Say to Singles
ROFL and take note, the "Before you open your mouth, ask yourself what's more important: your opinion or your friendship?"
But yes, my friends have asked me all of these. From 'maybe my standards are so high', (I just want to date someone smart so that conversations would be possible); to 'don't mind the face as long as he is good and has a stable job', but when you find someone, trust that he won't still be good enough in the eyes of loving friends who are just looking after your welfare)
Single is fun yet there are some people who just can't keep their mouth shut. Of all the things I've heard the worst would have to be, JUST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU STILL ARE SINGLE? Like really?!? I have more married friends who are very very miserable.
So, would I wanna trade my being single to having a husband I would have to serve the rest of my life, NOPE! Not just yet. Need I mention producing and taking care of babies? Maybe SOMEDAY, when the right man comes... Until then, I'd keep my status as long as I want.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Thursday, July 21, 2011
The Killer
Yes unfortunately, though I wasn't able to do the deed, I am a killer. And it wasn't just anybody I killed,I killed my own child.
It happened around 11am. I went through a very bad break-up and having been with the guy for more than a year,I was afraid I was pregnant having been feeling the need to puke since on Tuesday.
I now cry thinking of what I could have done. I was sharing what happened to me to a friend and she told me to not waste time and go find out if I was pregnant or not. I was gonna wait for a week knowing that my period was gonna happen a few days from now but I was too bothered and too hurt to wait. So I got up and even under the scorching heat of the noon time sun I went on ahead to also clear my head once and for all.
I took my phone and noticed my ex sent me a message.he told me to stop sending messages to his current gf unless I'd wanna get slapped on my face. and he told me how pitiful I was and how I can't get over the fact that he replaced me with someone better than me. I have nothing against the girl. I was just sending her a warning and I was also snooping around to see if they really just had a relationship, that they were on a week ago, and not for a long time,something that he did to me last year and six years ago.
Our breakup was bad but yesterday was the worst.Finally I get to see the guy for who he really was,he was a leech a liar and a user. And that time I was very glad that finally, finally I get to know him as to who he really is and since then I didn't cry anymore. well, not until a while ago.
I cried not because I lost the guy, or that I was heartbroken,or that he has someone new or that yesterday was just very bad.I cried because I was able to think about what I could have done.I could have killed an innocent child and it was all because I consider the father as the worst person there is in the world and that I feared for my life and for what I would do as to raising him.
I couldn't believe it, with what the guy had turned me into. He made me a killer. He made me want to kill an innocent child all because he cheated on me and used and sucked the life I had in me. I was made a killer by someone whom I gave my everything too, with someone whom I partly allow to step on me till I can't take anymore.
I was in prison of a life I've always wanted to be. I believed him when he said he loved me and was taking me seriously. Yes I had my flaws and a big mouth but I don't think telling my then-bf I envy a friend who has a very cute and rich bf is the icing on the cake. That that message was gonna end that which we had. yes it ended our relationship he said. he couldn't take how I would complain that he wasn't doing enough and I did do that. I did complain. For me jst merely texting me when he has nothing to do or staying at work with me was already a credible proof of a true relationship. I would cringe every time he wasn't sending me msgs already knowing his schedule, what time he sleeps and stuff. And I bash about it, I bash because I didn't want to be treated that way. he was going back to the man he used to be.He was the type that you'd better do what he says or else there's someone else.
You might be wondering why I was in such relationship.If he was that crappy, why the hell did I stay and why did I stay that long? I stayed because he said he loved me,because I thought no one else would,that I might not find someone with wits like him. I know that it may sound shallow but if a guy tells you that he does love you and that he always asks you to just stay with him and love him,what choice do we dorks have when that person would be like the one to do that which you have always wanted?
I believed him...
I believed him and I loved him. I loved him so much and I wanted to help that I was even willing to take him out to movies, eat out, or buy stuff for him, my treat. I know that society dictates that women must not do such but what can I do when just seeing him means I have to spend something here and there for us to go out.
I remember February last year when he was distant and feisty that when I asked what the problem was that he couldn't tell me. I really forced him to tell me and he replied "why? If I tell you my problem will you be able to do something to help?" Still I made him tell me then I found out he lacks money to pay for his final's tuition fee. We were just 3months that time but having had a brief relationship with him 6years ago I thought "why the hell not let him borrow money, anyway it was just sleeping in my debit card, not getting any interest at all."
I brought him to a festival on another place March last year, all expense paid, so what,I just wanted my honey there. After that came summer vacation and I haven't even gotten to see the guy a lot and when we did he gets angry when I don't have any place to specifically go. All I thought that just hanging and going to random places was gonna work but he was just really irritated and even walks at a distance. May and June were still the same.I would see him only every time I got off work at about 10pm. He was more distant and back then all I did was always beg for him to come see me, to hang out and to do some other private stuff. Even that didn't get his interest to come see me. I remember crying all the way while going home coz he was out with friends when all that time I was begging him to come spend time with me. Yes, I did a self pity cry in a public transpo. That feeling I don't wanna experience anymore.
Things never got better. July and August were just the same. I remembered staying in a hotel with him as a treat for his bday, a Saturday before his bday. I even bought cake to make him smile.That was probably the last time I saw him. We had a fight on his actual day, he never even cared to come to see me. i guess cakes don't always gets the celebrant's heart.
Festivities for the city's big day came and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere public with him. I remembered leaving my friends out of the blue that day so as just to be and spend time with him. I have got to ask forgiveness to my friends for what I did. I know it's bad but choosing friends and a significant other is always bad and hard.
Things were shaky come September and we celebrated our anniversary on November.I took him out to a new pizza place and a week after that we split. We broke up coz out of the blue in the early morning he told me that he's with his grandma at the veterans bank and unfortunately I wasn't "babe."
That night he broke up with me, actually he called it off. Cool off he says. I was even clingy and smiling not really taking him seriously. Indeed we parted ways that time and I was ok. I lost my marbles when i searched his facebook acct having deleted it on October. To my utter disbelief I found an account with words hubby and wifey in it and pictures of him with another girl. I was in disbelief coz we just broke up and it was early December that time. we broke up Nov 25. The disbelief was more of seeing how the girl looked (pardon but it was a big blow to me) and the dates of when they were together. It dated way back around February too,I remember certain things he had that he was sporting on some specific months.
I called him up and asked what the hell he did to me. All he said was the word "hang-out" and it was his ex and that those times he lost interest on me(gana).Being the sore loser I am and having been totally insulted I immediately asked for the money he owed me. It was almost Christmas that time and he was supposedly gonna pay back on the 18th with words "bahala na dli ko makatake midterm." My being a good person with the thought of Christmas to let him to talk to me properly. He was like shouting in his messages, it was like I was the one who owed him money and that he wanted me to just come get it and get it over with.
I felt sorry for him,told him to not treat me that way since I gave him the money wholeheartedly, I didn't want it returned with anger and negativity. I just couldn't live that way of someone being angry at me when all I showed was kindness. I told him to just give me the money on my birthday on second week January.
The man who was so angry suddenly began sending me messages again and still called me hon. He even invited me to come over his place Christmas eve but I declined knowing that that's where his room is at especially with how he is with alcohol around. I kept my dignity that day.
Business came on January and he was at my door again. He was always coming and spending time which was weird knowing that we ended.We finally got back together on the 25th and he was a changed man. He keeps sending me messages again, he was sweet and he always wanted to be with me. I was his date Saturday before Feb 14th and that was more that enough truth for me. He told me the sweetest words that time,that "it was so unfair how now that he is serious, he'll be leaving and staying in Cebu by April for his OJT"
April came and he left, even took him to the airport thinking that just maybe knowing how he is, I am almost single again.Indeed he was different in cebu. But I was lucky still for he would call me every night. Hell came when the wifey sent me messages again asking me if he was still seeing me.I told him he was and that I'm together with him and she got angry.She told me about stuff,that he has a kid with her and that he was in cebu to look for a job coz their child was gonna start school soon.
I know he was really into finding a job and what she said was a possibility I couldn't dismiss. I turned to a common friend to ask the truth.I begged the truth out of him and finally out of pity for me, he told me something. My ex has a kid with the girl,and the other girl he had a child with that I know about was different but that there still was another one. He said stuff that my ex wasn't really the type who chooses how a girl looks etc,he is after what a girl can give him and what he can get from them. I had a hard time believing the guy, he was a bit like him too.His credibility was tarnished also because he kinda was saying stuff that made my ex look bad.Funny how they are very close friends yet they say stuff about each other.
Life was never the same after that.I kept necking him, wanting proof that he really is true and loyal like he says he is. There were some points that bothered me like why she wont stop and why gets angry with me every time i speak of the girl.I never got to see the girl in person. She got angry and called me a bitch and I just couldn't let her just clobber me if I ever did get to see here. All I wanted was proof from the girl like just even messages from the guy will do, unfortunately she was no longer cooperating with me. All of these happened last May.
We spent a lot of time together by June, I was with him almost every Friday night but we kept having fights.Even the smallest absence of text messages angered us both. I guess on my part,I was sensing something that wasn't the same especially when he used to spend almost every afternoon with me,we were then just spending weekends together. He was also secretly browsing his phone too and never left them within my reach.
I never failed to ask the guy if he was happy with me and he always said he was. I was even asking maybe someone was doing some moves on him at school and he just said "I don't know if she likes me;"I never thought it was the start of something bad.
I kept wishing for him to make the relationship official. To me it was one way to secure my place and make sure he really was serious with me. I already spent a year and seven months with the guy, to me it was like he should already make a decision as to what the relationship was. I kept breathing on his neck, asking him to put his in a relationship with me on facebook, he said he will just delete his account to avoid problems and that he will only post that when I am married to him.
The big blow finally came after an argument where I told him I envy a friend with loose morals,who slept with married men who were my bosses who finally got this handsome rich guy who was so into her with both their pictures and posts flooding facebook. He saw it as a comparison. That I was unhappy coz he didn't have money on me, saying stuff that why could I not be happy with what he did like helping make my desk's keyboard holder which I showered with criticisms(i was just kidding) or those times where he spent afternoons with me even when he could have utilized it for sleep.
I answered that to me they really don't have weight since he only did it since January plus the fact that he has to make up for the cheating he did tome, an act he greatly denies. His final words that time was just "maybe the only thing that could make me be satisfied is a house and lot." Amazing words from a guy who goes dutch when we watch movies and whom I very recently treated to watch Transformers and dinner and everything else.
I found out last Tuesday from my college lesbian friend that he has a gf. That he was the bf of my lesbian friend's ex-gf and live-in partner for a year.
I lost everything after that. I text him and demanded for the money (tuition + plane ticket(yes, he borrowed money to buy a ticket back from Cebu, with me braving the heavy rain so as just to have him be back to my arms.) I demanded my money back and he replied that I always raise the money issue every time I get angry. C'mon! I was slapped on my face for what he did. He was going out with the girl and having fun while I was sulking in my corner.I just couldn't be that saint anymore. I threatened him that I'll go to his house and tell his mom about what he owed me.(Oh I forgot, of that span a relationship I was never introduced to his mom as a gf,I was just sneaking in and out like a thief.I should've listened to what wifey said on her msg, that I should have been introduced to dear ole mom.)
I wasn't kidding that time by the way.I was so fueled with anger and hatred that I sent all of the nums he used to contact me msgs that I need the money he owed me. I even sent a message to his brother in Cebu asking if he had already sent payment for the ticket I bought. I have to result to the low of the lows.Great reward for good ole me whose only intentions that time was to help.Am I really that bad? my fangs and horns and claws just can't help go out when I'm duped!
He did gave the money back yesterday but I held something off that made him very angry and I did some low blows in my messages mentioning his gf's past. His only reply that at least the girl had a good personality unlike me. Now when did I became the antagonist? I made him angry some more that he came back to the office and all hell just broke loose. I'm glad that he didn't break anything though,I actually had the kitchen knife within my reach that time. I guess I was really that angry with him.
I sent a message to the new gf's facebook account by the way and luckily she wasn't angry, I just hope that she understood me. She found some reality in my messages by the way, that time when I found out he already had a girlfriend,he suddenly lashed at her sending angry texts but said that somebody called and told him about it and that he went to MISORTEL to have the call traced to whoever it was who called.WHAT A DOUSCHE! Dude just because you watch CSI doesn't mean it happens here. What a fuckin stupid excuse. It's unbelievable.
I'm so over the guy,I really am and I have the highest respect for the girl for admitting that the past I knew of her was real.I just wish he would also admit his mistakes and his past. I am just angry now of what he almost made me do. HE MADE ME A KILLER! I was that hurt that I was willing to end a life.All I did was love the guy, treat him out, made him borrow my money,gave him my time and that's what I get.I know that life doesn't owe me anything but I'm praying to karma to please be the bitch she is and make him have all the consequences of his actions. I prayed before that whoever it was of him or wifey who lied that the person be in an accident where the legs will be cut. I'm not asking that anymore, I just don't want to have anything to do with the guy and I just want peace of mind.
Someday, things will fall into place. I just hope that when that happens, I will finally get that which I deserve.This is just way too much for me to fathom. I thank my friends who are helping keep me strong in this transition.
I've always had the feeling yet I never listened. I promise now my intuition will be my best friend and I will listen to her well. I hope this will never happen to anyone of you.I thank God for sparing me the deed I could have done and for still giving me something to look forward to...
It happened around 11am. I went through a very bad break-up and having been with the guy for more than a year,I was afraid I was pregnant having been feeling the need to puke since on Tuesday.
I now cry thinking of what I could have done. I was sharing what happened to me to a friend and she told me to not waste time and go find out if I was pregnant or not. I was gonna wait for a week knowing that my period was gonna happen a few days from now but I was too bothered and too hurt to wait. So I got up and even under the scorching heat of the noon time sun I went on ahead to also clear my head once and for all.
I took my phone and noticed my ex sent me a message.he told me to stop sending messages to his current gf unless I'd wanna get slapped on my face. and he told me how pitiful I was and how I can't get over the fact that he replaced me with someone better than me. I have nothing against the girl. I was just sending her a warning and I was also snooping around to see if they really just had a relationship, that they were on a week ago, and not for a long time,something that he did to me last year and six years ago.
Our breakup was bad but yesterday was the worst.Finally I get to see the guy for who he really was,he was a leech a liar and a user. And that time I was very glad that finally, finally I get to know him as to who he really is and since then I didn't cry anymore. well, not until a while ago.
I cried not because I lost the guy, or that I was heartbroken,or that he has someone new or that yesterday was just very bad.I cried because I was able to think about what I could have done.I could have killed an innocent child and it was all because I consider the father as the worst person there is in the world and that I feared for my life and for what I would do as to raising him.
I couldn't believe it, with what the guy had turned me into. He made me a killer. He made me want to kill an innocent child all because he cheated on me and used and sucked the life I had in me. I was made a killer by someone whom I gave my everything too, with someone whom I partly allow to step on me till I can't take anymore.
I was in prison of a life I've always wanted to be. I believed him when he said he loved me and was taking me seriously. Yes I had my flaws and a big mouth but I don't think telling my then-bf I envy a friend who has a very cute and rich bf is the icing on the cake. That that message was gonna end that which we had. yes it ended our relationship he said. he couldn't take how I would complain that he wasn't doing enough and I did do that. I did complain. For me jst merely texting me when he has nothing to do or staying at work with me was already a credible proof of a true relationship. I would cringe every time he wasn't sending me msgs already knowing his schedule, what time he sleeps and stuff. And I bash about it, I bash because I didn't want to be treated that way. he was going back to the man he used to be.He was the type that you'd better do what he says or else there's someone else.
You might be wondering why I was in such relationship.If he was that crappy, why the hell did I stay and why did I stay that long? I stayed because he said he loved me,because I thought no one else would,that I might not find someone with wits like him. I know that it may sound shallow but if a guy tells you that he does love you and that he always asks you to just stay with him and love him,what choice do we dorks have when that person would be like the one to do that which you have always wanted?
I believed him...
I believed him and I loved him. I loved him so much and I wanted to help that I was even willing to take him out to movies, eat out, or buy stuff for him, my treat. I know that society dictates that women must not do such but what can I do when just seeing him means I have to spend something here and there for us to go out.
I remember February last year when he was distant and feisty that when I asked what the problem was that he couldn't tell me. I really forced him to tell me and he replied "why? If I tell you my problem will you be able to do something to help?" Still I made him tell me then I found out he lacks money to pay for his final's tuition fee. We were just 3months that time but having had a brief relationship with him 6years ago I thought "why the hell not let him borrow money, anyway it was just sleeping in my debit card, not getting any interest at all."
I brought him to a festival on another place March last year, all expense paid, so what,I just wanted my honey there. After that came summer vacation and I haven't even gotten to see the guy a lot and when we did he gets angry when I don't have any place to specifically go. All I thought that just hanging and going to random places was gonna work but he was just really irritated and even walks at a distance. May and June were still the same.I would see him only every time I got off work at about 10pm. He was more distant and back then all I did was always beg for him to come see me, to hang out and to do some other private stuff. Even that didn't get his interest to come see me. I remember crying all the way while going home coz he was out with friends when all that time I was begging him to come spend time with me. Yes, I did a self pity cry in a public transpo. That feeling I don't wanna experience anymore.
Things never got better. July and August were just the same. I remembered staying in a hotel with him as a treat for his bday, a Saturday before his bday. I even bought cake to make him smile.That was probably the last time I saw him. We had a fight on his actual day, he never even cared to come to see me. i guess cakes don't always gets the celebrant's heart.
Festivities for the city's big day came and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere public with him. I remembered leaving my friends out of the blue that day so as just to be and spend time with him. I have got to ask forgiveness to my friends for what I did. I know it's bad but choosing friends and a significant other is always bad and hard.
Things were shaky come September and we celebrated our anniversary on November.I took him out to a new pizza place and a week after that we split. We broke up coz out of the blue in the early morning he told me that he's with his grandma at the veterans bank and unfortunately I wasn't "babe."
That night he broke up with me, actually he called it off. Cool off he says. I was even clingy and smiling not really taking him seriously. Indeed we parted ways that time and I was ok. I lost my marbles when i searched his facebook acct having deleted it on October. To my utter disbelief I found an account with words hubby and wifey in it and pictures of him with another girl. I was in disbelief coz we just broke up and it was early December that time. we broke up Nov 25. The disbelief was more of seeing how the girl looked (pardon but it was a big blow to me) and the dates of when they were together. It dated way back around February too,I remember certain things he had that he was sporting on some specific months.
I called him up and asked what the hell he did to me. All he said was the word "hang-out" and it was his ex and that those times he lost interest on me(gana).Being the sore loser I am and having been totally insulted I immediately asked for the money he owed me. It was almost Christmas that time and he was supposedly gonna pay back on the 18th with words "bahala na dli ko makatake midterm." My being a good person with the thought of Christmas to let him to talk to me properly. He was like shouting in his messages, it was like I was the one who owed him money and that he wanted me to just come get it and get it over with.
I felt sorry for him,told him to not treat me that way since I gave him the money wholeheartedly, I didn't want it returned with anger and negativity. I just couldn't live that way of someone being angry at me when all I showed was kindness. I told him to just give me the money on my birthday on second week January.
The man who was so angry suddenly began sending me messages again and still called me hon. He even invited me to come over his place Christmas eve but I declined knowing that that's where his room is at especially with how he is with alcohol around. I kept my dignity that day.
Business came on January and he was at my door again. He was always coming and spending time which was weird knowing that we ended.We finally got back together on the 25th and he was a changed man. He keeps sending me messages again, he was sweet and he always wanted to be with me. I was his date Saturday before Feb 14th and that was more that enough truth for me. He told me the sweetest words that time,that "it was so unfair how now that he is serious, he'll be leaving and staying in Cebu by April for his OJT"
April came and he left, even took him to the airport thinking that just maybe knowing how he is, I am almost single again.Indeed he was different in cebu. But I was lucky still for he would call me every night. Hell came when the wifey sent me messages again asking me if he was still seeing me.I told him he was and that I'm together with him and she got angry.She told me about stuff,that he has a kid with her and that he was in cebu to look for a job coz their child was gonna start school soon.
I know he was really into finding a job and what she said was a possibility I couldn't dismiss. I turned to a common friend to ask the truth.I begged the truth out of him and finally out of pity for me, he told me something. My ex has a kid with the girl,and the other girl he had a child with that I know about was different but that there still was another one. He said stuff that my ex wasn't really the type who chooses how a girl looks etc,he is after what a girl can give him and what he can get from them. I had a hard time believing the guy, he was a bit like him too.His credibility was tarnished also because he kinda was saying stuff that made my ex look bad.Funny how they are very close friends yet they say stuff about each other.
Life was never the same after that.I kept necking him, wanting proof that he really is true and loyal like he says he is. There were some points that bothered me like why she wont stop and why gets angry with me every time i speak of the girl.I never got to see the girl in person. She got angry and called me a bitch and I just couldn't let her just clobber me if I ever did get to see here. All I wanted was proof from the girl like just even messages from the guy will do, unfortunately she was no longer cooperating with me. All of these happened last May.
We spent a lot of time together by June, I was with him almost every Friday night but we kept having fights.Even the smallest absence of text messages angered us both. I guess on my part,I was sensing something that wasn't the same especially when he used to spend almost every afternoon with me,we were then just spending weekends together. He was also secretly browsing his phone too and never left them within my reach.
I never failed to ask the guy if he was happy with me and he always said he was. I was even asking maybe someone was doing some moves on him at school and he just said "I don't know if she likes me;"I never thought it was the start of something bad.
I kept wishing for him to make the relationship official. To me it was one way to secure my place and make sure he really was serious with me. I already spent a year and seven months with the guy, to me it was like he should already make a decision as to what the relationship was. I kept breathing on his neck, asking him to put his in a relationship with me on facebook, he said he will just delete his account to avoid problems and that he will only post that when I am married to him.
The big blow finally came after an argument where I told him I envy a friend with loose morals,who slept with married men who were my bosses who finally got this handsome rich guy who was so into her with both their pictures and posts flooding facebook. He saw it as a comparison. That I was unhappy coz he didn't have money on me, saying stuff that why could I not be happy with what he did like helping make my desk's keyboard holder which I showered with criticisms(i was just kidding) or those times where he spent afternoons with me even when he could have utilized it for sleep.
I answered that to me they really don't have weight since he only did it since January plus the fact that he has to make up for the cheating he did tome, an act he greatly denies. His final words that time was just "maybe the only thing that could make me be satisfied is a house and lot." Amazing words from a guy who goes dutch when we watch movies and whom I very recently treated to watch Transformers and dinner and everything else.
I found out last Tuesday from my college lesbian friend that he has a gf. That he was the bf of my lesbian friend's ex-gf and live-in partner for a year.
I lost everything after that. I text him and demanded for the money (tuition + plane ticket(yes, he borrowed money to buy a ticket back from Cebu, with me braving the heavy rain so as just to have him be back to my arms.) I demanded my money back and he replied that I always raise the money issue every time I get angry. C'mon! I was slapped on my face for what he did. He was going out with the girl and having fun while I was sulking in my corner.I just couldn't be that saint anymore. I threatened him that I'll go to his house and tell his mom about what he owed me.(Oh I forgot, of that span a relationship I was never introduced to his mom as a gf,I was just sneaking in and out like a thief.I should've listened to what wifey said on her msg, that I should have been introduced to dear ole mom.)
I wasn't kidding that time by the way.I was so fueled with anger and hatred that I sent all of the nums he used to contact me msgs that I need the money he owed me. I even sent a message to his brother in Cebu asking if he had already sent payment for the ticket I bought. I have to result to the low of the lows.Great reward for good ole me whose only intentions that time was to help.Am I really that bad? my fangs and horns and claws just can't help go out when I'm duped!
He did gave the money back yesterday but I held something off that made him very angry and I did some low blows in my messages mentioning his gf's past. His only reply that at least the girl had a good personality unlike me. Now when did I became the antagonist? I made him angry some more that he came back to the office and all hell just broke loose. I'm glad that he didn't break anything though,I actually had the kitchen knife within my reach that time. I guess I was really that angry with him.
I sent a message to the new gf's facebook account by the way and luckily she wasn't angry, I just hope that she understood me. She found some reality in my messages by the way, that time when I found out he already had a girlfriend,he suddenly lashed at her sending angry texts but said that somebody called and told him about it and that he went to MISORTEL to have the call traced to whoever it was who called.WHAT A DOUSCHE! Dude just because you watch CSI doesn't mean it happens here. What a fuckin stupid excuse. It's unbelievable.
I'm so over the guy,I really am and I have the highest respect for the girl for admitting that the past I knew of her was real.I just wish he would also admit his mistakes and his past. I am just angry now of what he almost made me do. HE MADE ME A KILLER! I was that hurt that I was willing to end a life.All I did was love the guy, treat him out, made him borrow my money,gave him my time and that's what I get.I know that life doesn't owe me anything but I'm praying to karma to please be the bitch she is and make him have all the consequences of his actions. I prayed before that whoever it was of him or wifey who lied that the person be in an accident where the legs will be cut. I'm not asking that anymore, I just don't want to have anything to do with the guy and I just want peace of mind.
Someday, things will fall into place. I just hope that when that happens, I will finally get that which I deserve.This is just way too much for me to fathom. I thank my friends who are helping keep me strong in this transition.
I've always had the feeling yet I never listened. I promise now my intuition will be my best friend and I will listen to her well. I hope this will never happen to anyone of you.I thank God for sparing me the deed I could have done and for still giving me something to look forward to...
Friday, September 10, 2010
I miss my hugs and kisses
I miss my hugs and kisses
I should get 12 each day
I miss my hugs and kisses
because you didn't stay
I miss my hugs and kisses
Even though there's someone new
I miss my hugs and kisses
because they're no longer YOU.
--
made Sept. 10, 2010 while in the middle of watching Letters to Juliet. It made me feel emotional and I missed the hugs and kisses I used to have
I should get 12 each day
I miss my hugs and kisses
because you didn't stay
I miss my hugs and kisses
Even though there's someone new
I miss my hugs and kisses
because they're no longer YOU.
--
made Sept. 10, 2010 while in the middle of watching Letters to Juliet. It made me feel emotional and I missed the hugs and kisses I used to have
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Letting Go
I kinda admit LETTING GO is such a hard thing for me to do. I like being comfortable in living with what I am used to like a habit, a solitude knowing, that everything is going to stay as they were though it's not always the case. All those that are alive and has rights, and brains are out of my control. I know that everyone would sympathize with me and would do just the same if they can just stop everything from ceasing or leaving. A thought of something that would soon be out of our sight and company and control is just hard especially when one has envisioned a future with it, be he human, a pet or a state of life. We always say that change is good but when it comes we are afraid to embrace it especially when we don't know what's in it for us or if we will be happy with it especially if it is not something that we want.
Parting ways and being left behind is always a sad thing. Rejection and loneliness would soon take its toll even to the strongest individual.
Something I just read that makes sense. It may or may not help one move on but the hope of being able to let go and be fine again is something each one of us would want. Hoping for it to help you as it has helped me.
Though simple, HOPE is something we could all use... I hope we all would be able to let go.
Monday, December 29, 2008
my CURSE
a message somebody mailed me last November 8, 2008. I think we were talking about people I'vee been with and stuff or like my lovelife or something. He wrote something really nice and i really really like it a lot that's why im posting it. Too bad i just read it now to actually talk more with the guy coz i really can't remember what we'd talk about in detail... anyway, this was what he wrote:
About your shout out .. ya, I think the problem is that U will intimidate many guys. And since U do have a TIGHT bod, men can't help but see that first .. even I am NOT immune to your innate power of seduction ..
YIKES!
Beauty is curse just as much as it is a blessing. My advice to U is pretty much the same as I give to all my friends, but with a bit more caution because the FORCE is strong with U .. lol.
So its a given that men will flock to U for obvious reason and that is NOT a bad thing. I think its safe to say U'd like a passionate man that is a little crazy for U .. but this part will be fairly easy, just look for a guy that can be expressive with U and the chemistry should ignite great passion.
Now the tough part, how do U make the guy like YOU .. NOT just for the bod U have,
but for the person UR. This is where finding your soulmate and companion gets so difficult .. probably because its hard to find a guy that can truly be all things for U. So its almost a certainity that some compromises will have to be made, but U should never settle.
First of all, I think its fairly easy to spot the guys that can ONLY see your bod. Conversations will nearly always drift to how the guy feels about U .. and while this is sweet, its typically his homonal response to your seductive powers .. he needs U .. he wants U .. he misses U .. ALL SELFISH needs of his.
Look for the guys that show more interest in U and your feelings .. your family .. your goals, needs, dreams, etc. He should also be at ease with U to talk about anything in a raw unfiltered fashion .. just like U'd talk with a long time friend. Remember most of life is non-romantic time and so how U interact during this time should probably carry considerable weight.
Since everyone's needs and their definition of Love are different, U need to clearly discover what those absolute needs are, and which are desires that UR willing to compromise on. Knowing what U want will help U limit the field of guys quickly. Above all, be observant .. the player can usually be spotted if U just look for the signs.
Don't give up .. there really are good guys still out there .. its unfortunate that U attract the wrong ones .. good luck .. t/c.
Bri
Quite nice huh? o now i remember.. my shout-out was WANTED ONLY FOR F***ING :P neat!
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