I LOVED MY BESTFRIEND

I let a big fish pass by. Big fish? Who needs a fish anyway? Well, the words I say to hide the fact that I'm hurt. Well, let's face it, who would want to show their vulnerability to everyone. But indeed I did, I let him go. I was stupid, he was my best friend. I opened everything of my all to him, until that time when I actually realized I was in love...

Fell in love, no, that wasn't the word. Grow, that's what they say love should be how it should start. It did grow. And when that happened, it went beyond what I wanted. The compromise was there and I to think hate compromising so much. What's the compromise, well, we both don't like each other PHYSICALLY. That's the compromise, as in we don't blend. I'm thin and I look tall and he's chubby and not tall so go figure.

We were FWB's actually. That was the only thing that connected us. Lust, carnal desires. I never planned on having an FWB but he opened my mind and I did need someone that time, he did too. Both of us were patching things up with the love of our life. I with the man I love for 5 yrs, him with his gf for 6 & 1/2 years. So we had this deal. Actually he was the one who said "We'll go out, but you're not allowed to fall for me." I mean WTF, I’m at the losing end here. Actually we met a month after (Sept2004) I broke off with my bf whom I’ve been with for a year and a half. (The reason, the love of my life's back then I’m tired of my ex's lust. He did raped me and basta, things happened till I couldn't take it anymore.)

I then agreed to the deal round January this year. Then we get to talk, share problems, thought, and get to know each other. We were just like that, until something happened to my life. What it was, well, I found out that the love of my life MIGHT BE married. I mean I was shocked. I've been fooled, played cahoots. I told him everything, well, since he knew my story with my ex, knew that I’m not pure, why not tell him? So I did, and he did something which meant a lot to me. It was this one time, when I was crying like hell, I’ve just no one to talk to, nobody knew, not even my best friend. Nobody even knew what happened to my life other than him. I told him that I’m crying, and he consoled me. It was that simple thing, but why it was a big deal, because he always tells me he hates people who cry and wail, he finds it pathetic but yet he did that... That did it for me, I have a best friend.

We met a week after that (Feb25), did it (of course) and we were so comfortable with each other. He showed me his new phone, his students, asked me if I knew these songs which I did, and that was an important bonding time, esp. that he's a music teacher. Then that was it, we went our separate ways, he even went AWOL for a while. So I was ok, so I thought... We didn't communicate for a while. Then I met someone, well, I very well need somebody's presence that time so I had a new bf (March10, just 13 days after)

Mid March2005 did he send me messages. He just came from Cebu, celebrated his 25th b-day. In the mood for a talk, I wasn't, I’ve a new guy I’m busy with. Just went with the flow, talked and talked, until month end... Something happened to him this time. Something bad, horrible. He asked for my presence, that he's really down... I said I can't, I’m busy (well, I’ve my bf, I just can't meet with someone esp. a guy) so I just turned down request after request. I didn't confessed I’ve someone until he said this(sent actually),"I LIKE YOU AND I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE ME TOO..." then I told him that I can not see him anymore b’coz I’ve someone.. He was crushed. "He asked WHY, WHY THAT SOON, WE JUST SPENT TIME TOGETHER blah blah blah...." I told him because I have to forget, that I need somebody to occupy my mind. I can't really remember if he asked why didn't I think of him or talked to him, all I remember is that I said "ITS BCOS OF THAT DEAL, THE "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME" REMEMBER?..."

Then he just said ok, then I don't know some time passed. But I was bothered, I was like, I could make him happy, why d hell am I still with my bf (who has a gf for like 3yrs, and I’m like #2 and I just agreed since I need him to forget the love of my life) who's only using me?... (When I could be happy with somebody else?) So I met up with my friend, (cancelled the 1st monthsary date with my SO) we had lunch together, and we talked. He then told me what happened. His girl, was seeing someone else, for two years, without him knowing. (To make matters worse, the guy his girl's going out with is married (with kids) to add insult to injury, he was only a utility personnel in the same company where the gf's working.) I was shocked, all I could ever say was "Oh my God", "I’m sorry", and "Really?" I mean, he suffered more than I did and yet I wasn't there. I refused to be there because of someone who doesn't even care for me? I was really sorry, if only I could hug him, if nobody was there I could've hugged him, cry, and say "I'm sorry I wasn't there like you were for me". I just sit there, saying nothing. My heart sank when he told me, "Tapos dili dyon ka magpakita sa ako because you've someone na. That's minus one friend for me..."

We went to his place after that, he even introduced me to his aunt. (That meant a lot too coz his family knew what his gf did to him, his aunt just smiled at me.) We watched a movie we liked after that. We were just sitting sa couch, me leaning against him, him, putting an arm around me. We even straightened up and fixed ourselves (acted formal) when his aunt passed yet we returned to the prior position after that. And we talked after that. He even said, "When will we watch the next part?" I didn't answer, changed the topic? I don't really remember. Then when it was getting dark I told him I’ve to go. He still wanted to spend time with me after that but I told him I can't, I’ve to go to church with my bf. So he just let me go. But he kissed my cheek on the way out. It was funny coz even though we've had each other, that time was like the first time. We were like twitching, electrified when our bodies come in contact. That was something...

I broke up with my bf days after that... I then had dinner with my friend. I told him what happened, he just laughed, and said "TO THINK HE'S MUCH OLDER THAN YOU...” We talked but again, we were professionals. We were like observing each other. I told him that I find it so hard being alone, no dates that I’m so used having someone with me. He told me, you don't need to be with someone to make you happy. I insisted that we do, those ahmm you feel alone, u need someone who'll be there. Then he said you've friends. Yeah I said but a woman's friends are not like that of men esp. mine. We can't go out at night; they spend their time with their bf's, who will be there for me. He told me I had a point. When I asked him when he'll be in a relationship again, he said he'll give himself a 6months gap. Well, since they've been on for 6 years, I told him, "NO, YOU NEED A YEAR..." then I laughed. When dinner was through, he told me his vacant times when he walked me, saying his free on this and that (an invitation for a date? I took it that way...)

So it was like that, but I didn't like took the offer. It’s this stupid ego of mine and I was thinking he just might be into me because he's alone, he's been dooped just like I did. The love of my life kept calling me after that. Saying what I heard wasn't true, and so I ran to my friend again. I told him that I feel so alone, I’m like in the verge of getting back with my ex. He told me (he was joking first) "IM HERE, I'LL BE UR BF, BEST FRIEND lol” Then I told him (insisted) that I need my bf to do things I wanna do (me being very lambing and all). He said: "IM HERE, UR BF WHO YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO" Then I finally told him that the love of my life is like coming back and he was furious, he said I know na what I have to do, we didn't communicate na after that.

So days passed, and since I was scolded, I didn't bother check up on him again or give hints I want to see him. I followed his advice ("YOU DON'T NEED TO BE WITH SOMEBODY TO BE HAPPY") and respected the gap he mentioned before he'll be with someone again. It was the end of April when I txt him, asked if he's free, asked him out. His response came way late at night. I finally got a hold of his friendster account and horror of horrors; you won’t believe what I saw... "IM IN LOVE AGAIN!" it said sa bulletin. I was shocked, wide eyed... What does that mean? I asked him, he spilled the beans.

He has someone na. I was mortified. I was asking myself "Wha..? How? He said...” I asked him, "What about me? I thought..." He said "Its ok, you'll find your own..."

Down? Hurt? Words could not equal the pain I felt that time. I had him... I was holding him. He was in my grasp... I just said, "I’m happy for you" I can't fight. I've no right. I've no, nothing...

Saw him with the girl weeks later. If only I could run, I would. But they were right in front of me. I just looked down, and then looked up when we were near. I just held my chest when we passed. I was having a difficulty breathing that time. Ouch! So this is how he felt... I then texted him, "Snob kau bay, salig ky uban iya gf..." He replied some time later, it said “I didn't snob you; you just weren't looking when I looked at you." I then told him "Hey you look good together. You look happy, I'm happy for you." He said "I am... She's everything and all my gf never was. I'm so happy with her." I replied, "Ouch! My loss huh? =) You do look good together with your arm around her coz if it was me, it'd be the other way around." He said "She could also put her around me y'know. Really, I didn't snob you." Chuckled, I told him "I was stressing about the height silly! =) Ey, don't forget to invite me if ever you'll get married k? At least man lang let me witness." He said "Marriage is still a long way for me, but I m considering it. Maybe that's why my last relationship f*cked up because I wasn't thinking about it. Besides she's still 19, maybe after 5years from now. Take Care"

That was it, the last message we ever shared. We never communicated after that. (except one time when I texted him if they'll play sa punchbowl, he said they won't be, their guitarist can't make it) Our paths crossed just last July 31, I was walking sa mall when I had that being looked at feeling. It was him, he was looking at me, kinda a hesitant look, indecisive, looked liked he wanna say hi, but he moved to the side and continued on his way when he saw that I was talking to someone on my phone. I then saw him, kinda said "Oi...” I was hesitant to cut the line line, I turned around, decided to try talk to him but on of the three men I’ve been in the jeep with (they we're following me) quickly approached him (must have sensed I know the guy, I think he tried to ask for my num from him) so I just looked at them, still talking on the phone and waited. But they talked there for a minute and I was kind of ashamed, I didn't have the guts to face him (the timing was off, someone stopped me just when I mustered the confidence) that I kind of walked ahead then I was quite far, I then decided to go on my way.

Was that fate? I mean was it fate that stopped us to talk again? I told my officemate, she said "You just weren't meant to talk that time." But that look, it was like dumbfounded, kinda like he was walking then something held him back, there was a force, I saw his body nudge. It was an opportunity, his gf wasn't there, at least exchange “Hi”'s, mangumusta and stuff. I just miss my friend; I have so many things to tell him, I’ve things to ask him. He looked different, improved, he now looked cute. Nagpa"CHUY" and kabaw =) he wasn't like that, never like that. His gf must've changed him, inspired him. That was good, but he was my one that got away. I just want to tell him that.

Well, so goes my story. My one that got away story. I’m happy for him though, I’m just puzzled why we can't be friends and change views like we did before. Does the girl know bout us? Did he ever tell her? I don't want to break them up. He's happy with her, I do acknowledge that, I respect that... But he was my friend, my best friend once. Why not let it continue? I hope time will come for me to know is reasons. I just want to let him know that I miss him and that I did loved him and that I’m sorry for not noticing it, for letting him go by. I’m just plain stupid, it's because I’m afraid. Afraid to get hurt, afraid to love... Time, please heal thy wounds....

Clark Kent, I MISS YOU.

THANK YOU!

I got a dose of the lovin again through books, articles and movies just yesterday... And what i found out, made me Ahmmm feel whole again...
I was just with someone, and in a tragic way... We weren't like a couple though there were times we acted like one. I got hurt, and someone got hurt... And to say my sorry, well, i'll say "Sorry", in a misinformed way, i am sorry for getting in someones way... But i was misinformed, i didn't know, i never even felt there was someone. Suspected? There were times i did but some gestures assured me no one was there...
Changed messages with the girl now, she is disappointed with me, that i do know and feel. i'd feel the same way too if i was her. But, i want to tell her this. Thank you for not being there for him for sometime. He made me, no, he gave me hope...
What that hope is, well, i think its gotta be LOVE... Yup, love.. because i vowed to close my door, not to date nymore and stuff... And that guy, his guy made me happy, for some time he did. And though she say there are some inconsistencies with how he knows the guy, that she's been with him for so long that she found him not capable of doing such, well be it then... So that wasn't his man, he was my man, well, for that time maybe. For that time he was. And that makes me happy, coz that might mean na i didn't come between someone. Whatever the truth is, irregardles of what the truth is, all i know is that those were some of the happiest days of my life...
If he wasn't him then he just might be someone who'll like love me sometime in the future. Maybe that was the man for me, maybe he just came and used his body to be with me. I mean he really gave me hope, that no matter how hard i try to ward love away from me, it'll still come... It gave me a taste of how happy i will be once i'd get to finally meet him? Well call me crazy but i, i don't care.. Because love is actually like this, it comes then it goes... It came, gave me a taste of it then went away to make someone else happy. and if you'll ask "LOVE? am i nuts?" Well, were you there? D'u see us? D'u hear what he said to me? Ok, it might not be LOVe but it was a budding love. It was going there i think, to the next step. But certain things just didn't allow us to be, so off to someone else? In time i think.. I'll give me some time to heal first...
And why my confidence to say it was love? Hmmm because i felt there was something. Or yah just call it concern or infatuation or attraction basta, SOMETHING was there.. Whatever it is, i don't really know and it dooesn't matter anymore. It has passed, what's done is done. Ok, the proof(?) why i said it was SOMETHING? Hmmm il just go generalize with the other guys too so as not to cause further disturbance to someone elses relationship or life or i'll just focus on him because he was the recent one? Ah, cut the crap, i'll just pinpoint some of the things i've observed.
Ahmm a squeeze on the hand to check if someone's ok, is SOMETHING. (well for me, it is) A squeeze then a question, "Are you alright, you're so silent?" is somethng for me. Then a kiss though evrybody else is around then the words "You might date somebody else" is like a jealous, ahmm assuring way that he's somehow affected if you go out with someone else. Then a confirmed statement (i just cant remember the exact words) but he did admit he was jealous. Then there was that time too, that he was going to a party for his godchild or something that we met even if we didn't have plans to see each other that day. We just drove around the city, trying to figure out where we'll go, he was gonna take me to the place where i was going the i didn't allow him then we drove around again. He told me that his mom told him to bring his ex with him to the party then when she texted for him to come get her. So he did, he drove me someplace but before i opened the door, he grabbed my arm, held me back, he gave me a kiss then in the softest voice said "Oh, where you off to?" like emphasizing, where am i going without him giving him a kiss. So we kissed, then i got off then he went on his way. He then sent me a msg, saying "Sorry that i've somewhere to go."
Those were jut some of the things i remembered him did to me. Then he always claimed he's not pretentious, he's not a player, but that we have to take it slow. I honored that, i just went with the flow but Alas, there was someone already there. Someone was already with him, and i am but someone he just knew. There might be some qualities he liked in me but why risk starting over again if you've already that someone? There are some factors too why they were able to do those to their gf's but that may not mean he loves her less. He just might miss her, or he just doesn't want to pass on someone like me.
This has happened twice. Coz the other three guys have like told me they've gf's. I mean, it hurts, it sucks cause you tend to let your defenses down, trust someone, think they're like i don't really know what their motives are but its just that they hurt people, and i hope they do know that. And to their gf's esp to someone i know who's like reading my posts, spying if like i'm still after his guy.. He's all yours, i've no more intentions esp that i know na you're there. Im not gonna get in your way and please don't like bother me too or like brag na u got him and i got nobody. I got nobody because i chose not to have anybody. I mean c'mon let me nurse my heart k? And like you've got the guy am like out of the picture, can you just please let my posts be. Call it fantasizing and stuff but if you were me, would you not? I mean would you like the idea that someone just used you? Won't that hurt you too that I got your man's eyes and like he wants me, he's attracted to me? Cause if you like choose that i fantasize then i'll also choose that i'm way much ahead of you physically and that you've no control of your bf, that you don't satisfy him and stuff.. Me fantasizing is much better than that right?
Look, i respect you and i also respect your man trying to like think na he's like have feelings too coz if you'll really look at it, he just might be after the PHYSICAL stuff. I'm trying my best for other people to like respect him too so just a lil respect for me too please...I know that there WAS something but IT REALLY REALLY DOESN'T MATTER now... He chose you, I also decided not to like bother him or anything so why won't you jut let that be.. Let things be, let's just forget the pain and let's all move on cause if you won't, then i won't too...
I hope this won't happen to me again coz if it well, and the girl will like go after me and such... You're in for the time of your life girl coz im gonna show yah what a big wuss you are and what an assh*le your bf is... Whew.. finally i've said it... I'm much much better now...

bwahaha

Hmmmm... my question was answered and boy do i pity the people? myself? whoever hehehe But im so kewl now... Whew... For my friends, THANK YOU, you cleared my mind... BIG TIME...THANKS....

Well, if you're wondering what it is that helped me, read on
Finally, the words I've been looking for… After wallowing, (my that's too harsh, lets change the word..Ahmm say) After reflecting, I finally mastered the courage to post the one thing that's been bothering me for some time now. I asked my friends, male friends (online) about their views on why MEN CHEAT. I've to post because i've no one else to ask and I can't like ask the recent guy's SO because of some personal conflicts(?) and also hindered with the opportunity to ask the men who did it to me personally. So here are their views, their posts, their ideas, their suggestions and a shocking revelation i found bout myself....
my post>Mga amigo ko, TABANG! hehehe ala lang, i just wanna ask you something. Ano man jud, it's the fifth tym na, as in sunod2x na...
Ahmm i'd like to ask, what are your reasons why you cheat on your gf's? It's not na they cheated on me, well, partly they did but, i'm the second party, FIFTH time na ha, from Dec last year till July of this year. And whats unlikely, is that they are in a long term relationship. How long term? a minimum of 2 a maximum of 6 and a half. So i'd better rephrase the question then, WHAT ARE THE REASONS WHY U CHEAT ON UR SO EVEN WITH THAT SPAN A RELATIONSHIP? haha i came up with this nasty reason, to take away the pain nlang pud dn at least feel better... Wafa lang jud sguro ko ky niexert man jud sla effort pra lang mauban ko, though they risk the loss of their SO? haha i even put it like, a local product, yet competitive in the international market. Why exaggerate to that extent? Well, its because d basta basta yong mga lalaking yon eh, A mestizo, a drag racer, from prominent families, basta they've the green. Then i wasn't the one who came to them, they came to me...
Just want to hear your ideas. Please don't think na nanghambug ko or anythin. Im just confused and angry(?) [i kinda am] that I've decided that's it, no more men. Please... TENCHU po!
Oh some reasons i've come up with, aside na they might've found me really attractive (well, some confirmed it) are virility and human nature? well that still points back to virility... :scratches head: :shrugs:
======[Y] i disagree that all men cheat! not all men are cheaters... nfact nangita lang na ang men ug way unsaon nya nga mkabuhi na cya sa relationship. hehehe======[Y] I agree with [LT] that not all men are cheaters.
[LT] - Ala, "let me be the one to break it up so you don't have to make excuses" nga eksena is tolerable but ngita lang ug paagi para makabuhi sa relationship is heartless. You don't get into a relationship just to find a way out soon.
Just my two cents.=====all men are THE MEN...
i don't agree with the previous guys... hahahahaha
di bitaw, kung dugay na man gud, usahay mangita gyud ang lalake ug bag-o na experience... busa mang-chicks siya usahay.
dali ra na ang solution para sa mga babae ana. i-threaten na bulagan nimo siya, di ba... mag-luhod2x gyud na balik sa inyo... hahahaha=====lagi not all man are cheaters. although its our nature pero dli sab tnan..some abuse it, some use it in a good way..good way in a sense na they cheat to survive..to get away...although sa uban mali, pro nkatabang...
preha ra gud na sa pamakak..pwede pang good, pwede pang bad.. =]=====i may have lied.. but damn.. i didn't cheat.. hehehe
taking into account the past years.. i did cheat.. and the reason behind it was that i wasn't too serious with our relationship.. and yeah.. juz like matt said.. mangita og bag-o nga experiences.. pero as for me.. i had enough.. lol so dili nako mangita..
matt, dli man mu-apply kang Kim ang kanang pagthreaten kay dili man sya gyud ang uyab.. naa gani lain uyab ang guy..
well kim.. you have learned your lesson for the 5th time.. know the guy first.. lol do some spy work.. hehehe=====Spy work is not a good way to go. I show distrust before the onset of a relationship. Relationships are based on trust.
Boys don't want a rock steady commitment, they're all rock stars, "live fast, die young", "Sa langit wala ang beer", "Cool guys", etc. etc. their lives rock alright... rockingly shaky... and these are the boys who do have the greens to live life like a party. But to a male specie defense, not all boys cheat, not all boys are rock stars. Some are home buddies, excessive mama's boy, geeks, nerds, and the "anti-social" types (they're not anti-social per se, it's more like the majority of society has been programmed to shun them/us).
Ever heard of Andrew E's quaint rap "humanap ka nang pangit"? Funny but true, try trusting and loving one of types i've mentioned above. It might work. Just don't the one that comes you're way right away alright. That guys might be reading this thread.
And one last thing, wag ka naman talaga humanap ng pangit, just look for someone you're sure you're gonna have fun with. Just enjoy the friendship and it could help to lock into a boys head where his hands, lips, and eyes aren't supposed to go, alright?! Boys stretch the limits and explore boundaries so better develop a hands off system. They could only be after sex... then *poof*====>>hehehe salamat po! Hmm my reactions then...
Well, kna imong post Matt, yup, ur so right [esp na dugay na sila esp sa akong case na 3-4yrs (span) ang naay gf na nanguyab, nauyab, or nag Woe sa akoa] i dont really know how the story happened pro maybe kinda inana, threatened to leave them, POOF, faster than lightning, mwala dyon. but some, save face. Ang gsulti ky nagbalik sa gf so i just said i understand ky dugay na pud bya sila, 4yrs, but then, TOINKZ! haha wla man diay nagbulag, nasapnan man diay. maybe he did dat pra i wont like get hurt but then ambot, sakit man jpon
@ShanemagSpy? im not dat desperate, i just go out with them then see wat goes from their (esp f gnahan ko sa guy, d way we connect and stuff) but heres the killer blow, INTRODUCES ME TO FAMILY & FRIENDS, TAKES ME TO THEIR PLACE or HOME, SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH ME, GOODBYE KISSES IN PUBLIC so how will i like know they have gf's dba? tapos, prominent family, di, ilado sa public so the stupid Kim, kinda trusts ky ilado man so if naa xa gf, i think mahadlok man jud xa mgpakita sa public with me dba?Then they have feelings, mkafeel man pd ko ba though if ask nmo ang girl, she may say ahmm deny that, dn say like am im a trying hard storyteller daw (based a2 ako words b4 SUNSET) dn the guy daw "TELLING THE TRUTH".. They're just good actors i guess... WHATEVER!
Ambot lagi bay, coz i dont really know the truth, coz i cant read sum1s mind, i just shrug now. Ambot sab kha why ako gkaTming-ngan, as in wla jud gap. Sugod Dec last year till july this year. Grabe na pud oi, pwede uban nlang? nkarecover na unta ko, giUsban nsab...
n ur humanap kang pangit thing.. Im not really into superficial stuff. The cover or prelude never tells the real contents of the book till u've read it. Ive been thru dat napud and many times have i lost sum1 coz of this principle(?) of mine... I DONT WNA BE N A RELATIONSHIP COZ A GUY LIKE KNOWS NA I COD LOVE PURELY (or be it the other way around) or that THIS GUY SURE WON'T CHEAT ON ME and other stuff.. Love is always a gamble sa start, its always a risk, and being a Business grad, nkaTatak na na sa ako head to take risks and know na its not always a sure deal but unsaon tman, dats me...
I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME BECAUSE... BECAUSE OF NOTHING, BECAUSE HE JUST LOVES ME...
sure na d na ni ninyo basahon ky taas.. just sharing thoughts ky murag bug-at na ako heart, kailagan na ipagawas=====The relationship goes stale.. that's why...if you want to keep your man dont be his gf..be sum1 unknown..a stranger...i mean keep some mystery intact,play hard to get sometimes.in other words keep him challenged... so that he would still go after you know matter wat.. hope that helps [y]...=====(now this post, i really liked)======I'll try to make this short and sweet.....
MEN cheat because they CAN! to put it more bluntly, men see an opportunity to cheat that's why they DO. they could give all the bullshit in the world when you ask them why they do it and give reasons like: i'm not fulfilled in the present relationship; nasasakal ako; she's too controlling; my mom doesn't like her; etc etc etc but that really doesn't answer your basic query, right YL? here's a scene for you...some guy a girl is dating for a couple of times looks around when the both of them are out together. takes her places not too many people go to. eat "drive-thru" food and shit... so naturally girl gets suspicious. and asks..."naa ka GF???" of course guy will deny but eventually will admit that YES, he has a GF but it's NOT WORKING OUT ANYMORE girl gets hurt, cries...but guy is "sincere" when he tell girl "she's the one" but (and here's the catch) can't tell present GF he don't want her no more coz "it's not proper for a guy to be the one to break up" girl feels betrayed but eventually accepts the fact that "it just might be true" so girl goes on anyway..."bahala na, basta love nko sha!" she says. of course, dream turns into nightmare and guy goes back to long time GF or finds someone new because of fore-mentioned reasons.
WHY DO WE DO IT you may ask?!?!?! because we can... no deeply rooted psychological needs or social pressures or raging hormones... but simply because if a guy feels that he can get away with it, so why not do it. no , planning or deep reflection involved. we just go for it. kung ma sakpan, mangita lusot. but why try to fix if it ain't broke, right?
so you say na it has happened to you a few times na??? because you allow them to. you may not have realized it but you do, gives you a thrill doesn't it? you wanna put a stop to it? hey, why mess up a good thing.
bitaw, believe me, you can spot a cheating guy a hundred miles away. question is do you want to stop? you, my dear, have the power to make it them all go away. i'm not saying to make yourself pangit so you won't attract these guys but the moment you smell something fishy, don't be afraid to ask them. then take it from there. i've given you the first step, it's up to you to go the distance.
i did say "TRY" to make it short and sweet....=====when you say cheating, it means that you have 2 or more SO's right?
hmmm...i haven't cheated per se. since wala pa ko ka experience ug duha ka uyab at the same time. but i'll have to admit i hurt my GF 3 times because of...how would you put it? because of wanting to experience someone new?
why i did it? i don't know. sometimes a relationship lasts too long that we tend to take it for granted already. i was so confused that time and the best advice i received from a friend was:
Quote:bai, kabalo ko nganong gapangita kag lain...kay naa k nakit-an sa uban nga wala nimo nakit-an sa imohang uyab karon. pero huna-hunaa nga aduna pud wala sa uban nga naa sa imohang uyab. ug ang isa ana k ang iyahang gugma kanimo.
when i heard this, nawala gud ang tama sa Red Horse. damn, my friend was right! til then, i have loved my GF more...and we've been together for 5+ years na.
just my...uhhh...5 cents na siguro ni k taas na man.=====
hahaha Tnx master BOOBIE! Wow... Hmmm so my mind's all clear... Salamat po... i might've known ds reasons b4hand but what better way to learn than ask from THE MEHN themselves
But how to stop? hahaha Toinkz I like the thrill ey? the thrill of dating maybe, the thrill that someone (well, they were not just someone) is interested in me.. Of course the ego boost but then when you start to say fall, now thats a different story... When you learn that you're #2, a much painful (if uve like fallen for him) and ahmm say wat elating? (if u didn't?) Hmm the only way i can stop is just not to date? hahaha dang, dat torment? I've like tried dis, for a month and mahn... what a hard thing to do...
But then thank you, im.... ey OK! am back to my bubbly personality again! Wehehe
Now that thing i discovered bout meself... Hmmm.. I was hurt because I felt used, because it happened yet again... haha Enjoyed it? Hmmm when these guys said that, i did enjoy it, but just now.. After the whole thing.. i enjoyed it because HEY, I JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING hahaha ok im exaggerating again but hey you can use that word too...
What wasn't thrilling was that i fell and I held on, i thought there was something, well if there may or there might not be, im letting it be.. What has happened already happened, let bygones be bygones... I was hurt because i felt i was like a hot potato, dumped because of somebody? but then i wasn't dumped (coz we didn't have a relatinoship,were just hanging out, enjoyed ourselves and stuff) I wasn't dumped coz these guys have someone they value, what they were doing with me, well, they have their reasons, and i've my reasons why i hanged out with them too... So now am so ok, because i wasn't like really ahh basta, whatever.. I was just irresistible i guess...