Hmmmm... my question was answered and boy do i pity the people? myself? whoever hehehe But im so kewl now... Whew... For my friends, THANK YOU, you cleared my mind... BIG TIME...THANKS....
Well, if you're wondering what it is that helped me, read on
Finally, the words I've been looking for… After wallowing, (my that's too harsh, lets change the word..Ahmm say) After reflecting, I finally mastered the courage to post the one thing that's been bothering me for some time now. I asked my friends, male friends (online) about their views on why MEN CHEAT. I've to post because i've no one else to ask and I can't like ask the recent guy's SO because of some personal conflicts(?) and also hindered with the opportunity to ask the men who did it to me personally. So here are their views, their posts, their ideas, their suggestions and a shocking revelation i found bout myself....
my post>Mga amigo ko, TABANG! hehehe ala lang, i just wanna ask you something. Ano man jud, it's the fifth tym na, as in sunod2x na...
Ahmm i'd like to ask, what are your reasons why you cheat on your gf's? It's not na they cheated on me, well, partly they did but, i'm the second party, FIFTH time na ha, from Dec last year till July of this year. And whats unlikely, is that they are in a long term relationship. How long term? a minimum of 2 a maximum of 6 and a half. So i'd better rephrase the question then, WHAT ARE THE REASONS WHY U CHEAT ON UR SO EVEN WITH THAT SPAN A RELATIONSHIP? haha i came up with this nasty reason, to take away the pain nlang pud dn at least feel better... Wafa lang jud sguro ko ky niexert man jud sla effort pra lang mauban ko, though they risk the loss of their SO? haha i even put it like, a local product, yet competitive in the international market. Why exaggerate to that extent? Well, its because d basta basta yong mga lalaking yon eh, A mestizo, a drag racer, from prominent families, basta they've the green. Then i wasn't the one who came to them, they came to me...
Just want to hear your ideas. Please don't think na nanghambug ko or anythin. Im just confused and angry(?) [i kinda am] that I've decided that's it, no more men. Please... TENCHU po!
Oh some reasons i've come up with, aside na they might've found me really attractive (well, some confirmed it) are virility and human nature? well that still points back to virility... :scratches head: :shrugs:
======[Y] i disagree that all men cheat! not all men are cheaters... nfact nangita lang na ang men ug way unsaon nya nga mkabuhi na cya sa relationship. hehehe======[Y] I agree with [LT] that not all men are cheaters.
[LT] - Ala, "let me be the one to break it up so you don't have to make excuses" nga eksena is tolerable but ngita lang ug paagi para makabuhi sa relationship is heartless. You don't get into a relationship just to find a way out soon.
Just my two cents.=====all men are THE MEN...
i don't agree with the previous guys... hahahahaha
di bitaw, kung dugay na man gud, usahay mangita gyud ang lalake ug bag-o na experience... busa mang-chicks siya usahay.
dali ra na ang solution para sa mga babae ana. i-threaten na bulagan nimo siya, di ba... mag-luhod2x gyud na balik sa inyo... hahahaha=====lagi not all man are cheaters. although its our nature pero dli sab tnan..some abuse it, some use it in a good way..good way in a sense na they cheat to survive..to get away...although sa uban mali, pro nkatabang...
preha ra gud na sa pamakak..pwede pang good, pwede pang bad.. =]=====i may have lied.. but damn.. i didn't cheat.. hehehe
taking into account the past years.. i did cheat.. and the reason behind it was that i wasn't too serious with our relationship.. and yeah.. juz like matt said.. mangita og bag-o nga experiences.. pero as for me.. i had enough.. lol so dili nako mangita..
matt, dli man mu-apply kang Kim ang kanang pagthreaten kay dili man sya gyud ang uyab.. naa gani lain uyab ang guy..
well kim.. you have learned your lesson for the 5th time.. know the guy first.. lol do some spy work.. hehehe=====Spy work is not a good way to go. I show distrust before the onset of a relationship. Relationships are based on trust.
Boys don't want a rock steady commitment, they're all rock stars, "live fast, die young", "Sa langit wala ang beer", "Cool guys", etc. etc. their lives rock alright... rockingly shaky... and these are the boys who do have the greens to live life like a party. But to a male specie defense, not all boys cheat, not all boys are rock stars. Some are home buddies, excessive mama's boy, geeks, nerds, and the "anti-social" types (they're not anti-social per se, it's more like the majority of society has been programmed to shun them/us).
Ever heard of Andrew E's quaint rap "humanap ka nang pangit"? Funny but true, try trusting and loving one of types i've mentioned above. It might work. Just don't the one that comes you're way right away alright. That guys might be reading this thread.
And one last thing, wag ka naman talaga humanap ng pangit, just look for someone you're sure you're gonna have fun with. Just enjoy the friendship and it could help to lock into a boys head where his hands, lips, and eyes aren't supposed to go, alright?! Boys stretch the limits and explore boundaries so better develop a hands off system. They could only be after sex... then *poof*====>>hehehe salamat po! Hmm my reactions then...
Well, kna imong post Matt, yup, ur so right [esp na dugay na sila esp sa akong case na 3-4yrs (span) ang naay gf na nanguyab, nauyab, or nag Woe sa akoa] i dont really know how the story happened pro maybe kinda inana, threatened to leave them, POOF, faster than lightning, mwala dyon. but some, save face. Ang gsulti ky nagbalik sa gf so i just said i understand ky dugay na pud bya sila, 4yrs, but then, TOINKZ! haha wla man diay nagbulag, nasapnan man diay. maybe he did dat pra i wont like get hurt but then ambot, sakit man jpon
@ShanemagSpy? im not dat desperate, i just go out with them then see wat goes from their (esp f gnahan ko sa guy, d way we connect and stuff) but heres the killer blow, INTRODUCES ME TO FAMILY & FRIENDS, TAKES ME TO THEIR PLACE or HOME, SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH ME, GOODBYE KISSES IN PUBLIC so how will i like know they have gf's dba? tapos, prominent family, di, ilado sa public so the stupid Kim, kinda trusts ky ilado man so if naa xa gf, i think mahadlok man jud xa mgpakita sa public with me dba?Then they have feelings, mkafeel man pd ko ba though if ask nmo ang girl, she may say ahmm deny that, dn say like am im a trying hard storyteller daw (based a2 ako words b4 SUNSET) dn the guy daw "TELLING THE TRUTH".. They're just good actors i guess... WHATEVER!
Ambot lagi bay, coz i dont really know the truth, coz i cant read sum1s mind, i just shrug now. Ambot sab kha why ako gkaTming-ngan, as in wla jud gap. Sugod Dec last year till july this year. Grabe na pud oi, pwede uban nlang? nkarecover na unta ko, giUsban nsab...
n ur humanap kang pangit thing.. Im not really into superficial stuff. The cover or prelude never tells the real contents of the book till u've read it. Ive been thru dat napud and many times have i lost sum1 coz of this principle(?) of mine... I DONT WNA BE N A RELATIONSHIP COZ A GUY LIKE KNOWS NA I COD LOVE PURELY (or be it the other way around) or that THIS GUY SURE WON'T CHEAT ON ME and other stuff.. Love is always a gamble sa start, its always a risk, and being a Business grad, nkaTatak na na sa ako head to take risks and know na its not always a sure deal but unsaon tman, dats me...
I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME BECAUSE... BECAUSE OF NOTHING, BECAUSE HE JUST LOVES ME...
sure na d na ni ninyo basahon ky taas.. just sharing thoughts ky murag bug-at na ako heart, kailagan na ipagawas=====The relationship goes stale.. that's why...if you want to keep your man dont be his gf..be sum1 unknown..a stranger...i mean keep some mystery intact,play hard to get sometimes.in other words keep him challenged... so that he would still go after you know matter wat.. hope that helps [y]...=====(now this post, i really liked)======I'll try to make this short and sweet.....
MEN cheat because they CAN! to put it more bluntly, men see an opportunity to cheat that's why they DO. they could give all the bullshit in the world when you ask them why they do it and give reasons like: i'm not fulfilled in the present relationship; nasasakal ako; she's too controlling; my mom doesn't like her; etc etc etc but that really doesn't answer your basic query, right YL? here's a scene for you...some guy a girl is dating for a couple of times looks around when the both of them are out together. takes her places not too many people go to. eat "drive-thru" food and shit... so naturally girl gets suspicious. and asks..."naa ka GF???" of course guy will deny but eventually will admit that YES, he has a GF but it's NOT WORKING OUT ANYMORE girl gets hurt, cries...but guy is "sincere" when he tell girl "she's the one" but (and here's the catch) can't tell present GF he don't want her no more coz "it's not proper for a guy to be the one to break up" girl feels betrayed but eventually accepts the fact that "it just might be true" so girl goes on anyway..."bahala na, basta love nko sha!" she says. of course, dream turns into nightmare and guy goes back to long time GF or finds someone new because of fore-mentioned reasons.
WHY DO WE DO IT you may ask?!?!?! because we can... no deeply rooted psychological needs or social pressures or raging hormones... but simply because if a guy feels that he can get away with it, so why not do it. no , planning or deep reflection involved. we just go for it. kung ma sakpan, mangita lusot. but why try to fix if it ain't broke, right?
so you say na it has happened to you a few times na??? because you allow them to. you may not have realized it but you do, gives you a thrill doesn't it? you wanna put a stop to it? hey, why mess up a good thing.
bitaw, believe me, you can spot a cheating guy a hundred miles away. question is do you want to stop? you, my dear, have the power to make it them all go away. i'm not saying to make yourself pangit so you won't attract these guys but the moment you smell something fishy, don't be afraid to ask them. then take it from there. i've given you the first step, it's up to you to go the distance.
i did say "TRY" to make it short and sweet....=====when you say cheating, it means that you have 2 or more SO's right?
hmmm...i haven't cheated per se. since wala pa ko ka experience ug duha ka uyab at the same time. but i'll have to admit i hurt my GF 3 times because of...how would you put it? because of wanting to experience someone new?
why i did it? i don't know. sometimes a relationship lasts too long that we tend to take it for granted already. i was so confused that time and the best advice i received from a friend was:
Quote:bai, kabalo ko nganong gapangita kag lain...kay naa k nakit-an sa uban nga wala nimo nakit-an sa imohang uyab karon. pero huna-hunaa nga aduna pud wala sa uban nga naa sa imohang uyab. ug ang isa ana k ang iyahang gugma kanimo.
when i heard this, nawala gud ang tama sa Red Horse. damn, my friend was right! til then, i have loved my GF more...and we've been together for 5+ years na.
just my...uhhh...5 cents na siguro ni k taas na man.=====
hahaha Tnx master BOOBIE! Wow... Hmmm so my mind's all clear... Salamat po... i might've known ds reasons b4hand but what better way to learn than ask from THE MEHN themselves
But how to stop? hahaha Toinkz I like the thrill ey? the thrill of dating maybe, the thrill that someone (well, they were not just someone) is interested in me.. Of course the ego boost but then when you start to say fall, now thats a different story... When you learn that you're #2, a much painful (if uve like fallen for him) and ahmm say wat elating? (if u didn't?) Hmm the only way i can stop is just not to date? hahaha dang, dat torment? I've like tried dis, for a month and mahn... what a hard thing to do...
But then thank you, im.... ey OK! am back to my bubbly personality again! Wehehe
Now that thing i discovered bout meself... Hmmm.. I was hurt because I felt used, because it happened yet again... haha Enjoyed it? Hmmm when these guys said that, i did enjoy it, but just now.. After the whole thing.. i enjoyed it because HEY, I JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING hahaha ok im exaggerating again but hey you can use that word too...
What wasn't thrilling was that i fell and I held on, i thought there was something, well if there may or there might not be, im letting it be.. What has happened already happened, let bygones be bygones... I was hurt because i felt i was like a hot potato, dumped because of somebody? but then i wasn't dumped (coz we didn't have a relatinoship,were just hanging out, enjoyed ourselves and stuff) I wasn't dumped coz these guys have someone they value, what they were doing with me, well, they have their reasons, and i've my reasons why i hanged out with them too... So now am so ok, because i wasn't like really ahh basta, whatever.. I was just irresistible i guess...
Well, if you're wondering what it is that helped me, read on
Finally, the words I've been looking for… After wallowing, (my that's too harsh, lets change the word..Ahmm say) After reflecting, I finally mastered the courage to post the one thing that's been bothering me for some time now. I asked my friends, male friends (online) about their views on why MEN CHEAT. I've to post because i've no one else to ask and I can't like ask the recent guy's SO because of some personal conflicts(?) and also hindered with the opportunity to ask the men who did it to me personally. So here are their views, their posts, their ideas, their suggestions and a shocking revelation i found bout myself....
my post>Mga amigo ko, TABANG! hehehe ala lang, i just wanna ask you something. Ano man jud, it's the fifth tym na, as in sunod2x na...
Ahmm i'd like to ask, what are your reasons why you cheat on your gf's? It's not na they cheated on me, well, partly they did but, i'm the second party, FIFTH time na ha, from Dec last year till July of this year. And whats unlikely, is that they are in a long term relationship. How long term? a minimum of 2 a maximum of 6 and a half. So i'd better rephrase the question then, WHAT ARE THE REASONS WHY U CHEAT ON UR SO EVEN WITH THAT SPAN A RELATIONSHIP? haha i came up with this nasty reason, to take away the pain nlang pud dn at least feel better... Wafa lang jud sguro ko ky niexert man jud sla effort pra lang mauban ko, though they risk the loss of their SO? haha i even put it like, a local product, yet competitive in the international market. Why exaggerate to that extent? Well, its because d basta basta yong mga lalaking yon eh, A mestizo, a drag racer, from prominent families, basta they've the green. Then i wasn't the one who came to them, they came to me...
Just want to hear your ideas. Please don't think na nanghambug ko or anythin. Im just confused and angry(?) [i kinda am] that I've decided that's it, no more men. Please... TENCHU po!
Oh some reasons i've come up with, aside na they might've found me really attractive (well, some confirmed it) are virility and human nature? well that still points back to virility... :scratches head: :shrugs:
======[Y] i disagree that all men cheat! not all men are cheaters... nfact nangita lang na ang men ug way unsaon nya nga mkabuhi na cya sa relationship. hehehe======[Y] I agree with [LT] that not all men are cheaters.
[LT] - Ala, "let me be the one to break it up so you don't have to make excuses" nga eksena is tolerable but ngita lang ug paagi para makabuhi sa relationship is heartless. You don't get into a relationship just to find a way out soon.
Just my two cents.=====all men are THE MEN...
i don't agree with the previous guys... hahahahaha
di bitaw, kung dugay na man gud, usahay mangita gyud ang lalake ug bag-o na experience... busa mang-chicks siya usahay.
dali ra na ang solution para sa mga babae ana. i-threaten na bulagan nimo siya, di ba... mag-luhod2x gyud na balik sa inyo... hahahaha=====lagi not all man are cheaters. although its our nature pero dli sab tnan..some abuse it, some use it in a good way..good way in a sense na they cheat to survive..to get away...although sa uban mali, pro nkatabang...
preha ra gud na sa pamakak..pwede pang good, pwede pang bad.. =]=====i may have lied.. but damn.. i didn't cheat.. hehehe
taking into account the past years.. i did cheat.. and the reason behind it was that i wasn't too serious with our relationship.. and yeah.. juz like matt said.. mangita og bag-o nga experiences.. pero as for me.. i had enough.. lol so dili nako mangita..
matt, dli man mu-apply kang Kim ang kanang pagthreaten kay dili man sya gyud ang uyab.. naa gani lain uyab ang guy..
well kim.. you have learned your lesson for the 5th time.. know the guy first.. lol do some spy work.. hehehe=====Spy work is not a good way to go. I show distrust before the onset of a relationship. Relationships are based on trust.
Boys don't want a rock steady commitment, they're all rock stars, "live fast, die young", "Sa langit wala ang beer", "Cool guys", etc. etc. their lives rock alright... rockingly shaky... and these are the boys who do have the greens to live life like a party. But to a male specie defense, not all boys cheat, not all boys are rock stars. Some are home buddies, excessive mama's boy, geeks, nerds, and the "anti-social" types (they're not anti-social per se, it's more like the majority of society has been programmed to shun them/us).
Ever heard of Andrew E's quaint rap "humanap ka nang pangit"? Funny but true, try trusting and loving one of types i've mentioned above. It might work. Just don't the one that comes you're way right away alright. That guys might be reading this thread.
And one last thing, wag ka naman talaga humanap ng pangit, just look for someone you're sure you're gonna have fun with. Just enjoy the friendship and it could help to lock into a boys head where his hands, lips, and eyes aren't supposed to go, alright?! Boys stretch the limits and explore boundaries so better develop a hands off system. They could only be after sex... then *poof*====>>hehehe salamat po! Hmm my reactions then...
Well, kna imong post Matt, yup, ur so right [esp na dugay na sila esp sa akong case na 3-4yrs (span) ang naay gf na nanguyab, nauyab, or nag Woe sa akoa] i dont really know how the story happened pro maybe kinda inana, threatened to leave them, POOF, faster than lightning, mwala dyon. but some, save face. Ang gsulti ky nagbalik sa gf so i just said i understand ky dugay na pud bya sila, 4yrs, but then, TOINKZ! haha wla man diay nagbulag, nasapnan man diay. maybe he did dat pra i wont like get hurt but then ambot, sakit man jpon
@ShanemagSpy? im not dat desperate, i just go out with them then see wat goes from their (esp f gnahan ko sa guy, d way we connect and stuff) but heres the killer blow, INTRODUCES ME TO FAMILY & FRIENDS, TAKES ME TO THEIR PLACE or HOME, SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH ME, GOODBYE KISSES IN PUBLIC so how will i like know they have gf's dba? tapos, prominent family, di, ilado sa public so the stupid Kim, kinda trusts ky ilado man so if naa xa gf, i think mahadlok man jud xa mgpakita sa public with me dba?Then they have feelings, mkafeel man pd ko ba though if ask nmo ang girl, she may say ahmm deny that, dn say like am im a trying hard storyteller daw (based a2 ako words b4 SUNSET) dn the guy daw "TELLING THE TRUTH".. They're just good actors i guess... WHATEVER!
Ambot lagi bay, coz i dont really know the truth, coz i cant read sum1s mind, i just shrug now. Ambot sab kha why ako gkaTming-ngan, as in wla jud gap. Sugod Dec last year till july this year. Grabe na pud oi, pwede uban nlang? nkarecover na unta ko, giUsban nsab...
n ur humanap kang pangit thing.. Im not really into superficial stuff. The cover or prelude never tells the real contents of the book till u've read it. Ive been thru dat napud and many times have i lost sum1 coz of this principle(?) of mine... I DONT WNA BE N A RELATIONSHIP COZ A GUY LIKE KNOWS NA I COD LOVE PURELY (or be it the other way around) or that THIS GUY SURE WON'T CHEAT ON ME and other stuff.. Love is always a gamble sa start, its always a risk, and being a Business grad, nkaTatak na na sa ako head to take risks and know na its not always a sure deal but unsaon tman, dats me...
I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME BECAUSE... BECAUSE OF NOTHING, BECAUSE HE JUST LOVES ME...
sure na d na ni ninyo basahon ky taas.. just sharing thoughts ky murag bug-at na ako heart, kailagan na ipagawas=====The relationship goes stale.. that's why...if you want to keep your man dont be his gf..be sum1 unknown..a stranger...i mean keep some mystery intact,play hard to get sometimes.in other words keep him challenged... so that he would still go after you know matter wat.. hope that helps [y]...=====(now this post, i really liked)======I'll try to make this short and sweet.....
MEN cheat because they CAN! to put it more bluntly, men see an opportunity to cheat that's why they DO. they could give all the bullshit in the world when you ask them why they do it and give reasons like: i'm not fulfilled in the present relationship; nasasakal ako; she's too controlling; my mom doesn't like her; etc etc etc but that really doesn't answer your basic query, right YL? here's a scene for you...some guy a girl is dating for a couple of times looks around when the both of them are out together. takes her places not too many people go to. eat "drive-thru" food and shit... so naturally girl gets suspicious. and asks..."naa ka GF???" of course guy will deny but eventually will admit that YES, he has a GF but it's NOT WORKING OUT ANYMORE girl gets hurt, cries...but guy is "sincere" when he tell girl "she's the one" but (and here's the catch) can't tell present GF he don't want her no more coz "it's not proper for a guy to be the one to break up" girl feels betrayed but eventually accepts the fact that "it just might be true" so girl goes on anyway..."bahala na, basta love nko sha!" she says. of course, dream turns into nightmare and guy goes back to long time GF or finds someone new because of fore-mentioned reasons.
WHY DO WE DO IT you may ask?!?!?! because we can... no deeply rooted psychological needs or social pressures or raging hormones... but simply because if a guy feels that he can get away with it, so why not do it. no , planning or deep reflection involved. we just go for it. kung ma sakpan, mangita lusot. but why try to fix if it ain't broke, right?
so you say na it has happened to you a few times na??? because you allow them to. you may not have realized it but you do, gives you a thrill doesn't it? you wanna put a stop to it? hey, why mess up a good thing.
bitaw, believe me, you can spot a cheating guy a hundred miles away. question is do you want to stop? you, my dear, have the power to make it them all go away. i'm not saying to make yourself pangit so you won't attract these guys but the moment you smell something fishy, don't be afraid to ask them. then take it from there. i've given you the first step, it's up to you to go the distance.
i did say "TRY" to make it short and sweet....=====when you say cheating, it means that you have 2 or more SO's right?
hmmm...i haven't cheated per se. since wala pa ko ka experience ug duha ka uyab at the same time. but i'll have to admit i hurt my GF 3 times because of...how would you put it? because of wanting to experience someone new?
why i did it? i don't know. sometimes a relationship lasts too long that we tend to take it for granted already. i was so confused that time and the best advice i received from a friend was:
Quote:bai, kabalo ko nganong gapangita kag lain...kay naa k nakit-an sa uban nga wala nimo nakit-an sa imohang uyab karon. pero huna-hunaa nga aduna pud wala sa uban nga naa sa imohang uyab. ug ang isa ana k ang iyahang gugma kanimo.
when i heard this, nawala gud ang tama sa Red Horse. damn, my friend was right! til then, i have loved my GF more...and we've been together for 5+ years na.
just my...uhhh...5 cents na siguro ni k taas na man.=====
hahaha Tnx master BOOBIE! Wow... Hmmm so my mind's all clear... Salamat po... i might've known ds reasons b4hand but what better way to learn than ask from THE MEHN themselves
But how to stop? hahaha Toinkz I like the thrill ey? the thrill of dating maybe, the thrill that someone (well, they were not just someone) is interested in me.. Of course the ego boost but then when you start to say fall, now thats a different story... When you learn that you're #2, a much painful (if uve like fallen for him) and ahmm say wat elating? (if u didn't?) Hmm the only way i can stop is just not to date? hahaha dang, dat torment? I've like tried dis, for a month and mahn... what a hard thing to do...
But then thank you, im.... ey OK! am back to my bubbly personality again! Wehehe
Now that thing i discovered bout meself... Hmmm.. I was hurt because I felt used, because it happened yet again... haha Enjoyed it? Hmmm when these guys said that, i did enjoy it, but just now.. After the whole thing.. i enjoyed it because HEY, I JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING hahaha ok im exaggerating again but hey you can use that word too...
What wasn't thrilling was that i fell and I held on, i thought there was something, well if there may or there might not be, im letting it be.. What has happened already happened, let bygones be bygones... I was hurt because i felt i was like a hot potato, dumped because of somebody? but then i wasn't dumped (coz we didn't have a relatinoship,were just hanging out, enjoyed ourselves and stuff) I wasn't dumped coz these guys have someone they value, what they were doing with me, well, they have their reasons, and i've my reasons why i hanged out with them too... So now am so ok, because i wasn't like really ahh basta, whatever.. I was just irresistible i guess...
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