a year old blah

=] finally found the song my officemate said was suited for me... I was inlove daw, they say.. I keep talking bout someone, always, as in all the time... Laughing and giggling to myself even at work,that they can't help but ask me what was i so amused about.. (Breathes...) It was just someone, i say... But they knew the guy, showed him to them.. We were pretty close then, even though we were just friends, we've been acting like...more? I don't really know.. He was just so pesky, irritating, annoying... I mean I, I vowed never to be in something like that again... Not to be or spend time with someone again. I was just fine, so fine, spending time with friends, my officemates, net, work, overtime, PS, I was just so busy...

Ahmm kinda have my fault, i was searching for friends, but that was just it, "FRIENDS", that was the only intention. So there he was, Bham! Landed right in front of me... I was so annoyed at him, he's just so, i dont know basta the most annoying person ever... Change pics, he liked me, I wasn't even interested... Ward him off, I did, all the insults, boasting bout what i did coz he really was annoying.. Told him i've done this, that... Basta every all just to not really have that connection? Well Yep, that was my plan before. But then after some time, like a ahmm 2weeks of pestering, agreed to meet him. We met, kinda thought "ngeeh"(?) hehehe Yah, i did that but kinda we connected, bonded instantly so found him interesting? Hmmm yeah, coz he was interested in me? i don't really know, basta i kinda felt something.. So that was it, he asked me out again the next day, meet him again then later that night, we like exchanged msgs till dawn...

So there we were, texting, conversing, seeing each other. Then i was touched when he sent me something, mga Ahmm beh say 9days after we've like met for the first day? Said "I really wanna be with you gyud. Words can't explain how i feel if mag-uban ta." Wow! I felt really good... i mean its been quite a while since i spent time with anyone or ahmmm say not gave anyone the chance to like ahmm be with me stuff. i liked it, i really did. I mean Ahmm beh its been quite Ahmm =) a month after hehehe and don't tell me tell me a month? and u said it' been a long while? hahaha Yeah, t might not be long for you but it's way too long for me.. I mean im used to having someone with me.. as in really really used to this kind of setup, i live like this.. If no bf's, a date here and there, left and right. Even my officemates and friends have lost track as to who's who...My demand is just like that... (hehehe assuming but yeah that was my life) Ahmm beh, the kiss... Well, he always tries to kiss me. But evrytime he does and i like catch him trying I just laugh the hell off, i mean its not that i dont really like it but its uncomfortable.. I don't wanna fall again, i've just been hurt then i'll just open my door instantly? no way! So yon i laugh then after how many days of trying, i finally agreed. Ahmm that was on June 24th =) (bag-o lang nahitabo right?) So that was it... we kissed.. and it was good... It was heavenly, i liked it and i don't really like kissing but that kiss, i liked it. Then ahmm after that say ahmm aah Hmmm 6 or 7 days after that he kinda introduced me to his bro. I was like silent, dumbfounded. He's the prominent family, rich, famous... basta he is and that moment, I felt that gap between us.. like basta, heaven & earth? Sigh i don't really know but when i was silent, when i was just sitting there inside the car with his brother behind me, he just reached for my hand (while driving) and gave it a squeeze then i think he said "Hilom man kaayo ka".. Darn! hehehe hook, line and sinker... he got me... (darn it my eyes are getting misty here) So that was it.. spend nsad some days after that, together, laughing, singing, driving around, parking... Thats how we spend our day together, if not watch movies, sit inside his ride whole day, parked somewhere, talking, singing and that is just the perfect date for me.. Just spendng time, even doing nothing as long as i'm like with him (someone i love or like not particularly him now)

Ahmm then the next saturday, he was like going to this party, for his godchild then his mom told him to bring his ex with him daw. (i don't know if which, the 6yrs? one or the recent) So even if we didn't like planned to spend time together, he still came to see me, even till 4:00 pm lang daw (that's like an hour lang coz i was out by 3) so we meet, ended up being with him till ahmm 6pm. Then a msg came, his ex, telling him to come get her na daw. So he just took me to where i was going but before i got out, he like said "Oh, asa man ka?" or like implying "why are you leaving me w/o a kiss?", then he like held my hand, stopped me from opening the door then kissed me, (light lang) then I dont know, i can't remember what he said after that.. All i know was dat i was like jealous? (coz that's an ex mahn!) he's like been with her, had feelings for her and he's like going to spend time with that girl till night, with his friends? Argh, that really hurt. It was painful. Then i dont know kinda asked him bout his date after that day, he said na nibalibad daw ang girl, wla xa giubanan and i felt good.. Then after that, the "SUNSET" story happened. Then 2days after that, after my fon got stolen, after i've like recorded our voices singing together and backed it up sa PC, i saw his ride, parked same place where we usually park, was with my officemates, they saw his ride too then he was like quite far from me but i can tell that it was him. He was like outside taking to a girl, sitting down, face to face. Really deep conversation i can tell. Then he like just stopped txting like he usually does, he doesn't annoy me anymore, he didnt do what he used to do. Then came the shock ahmm last Wednesday was the confirmation. He txtd me saturday after aking him na this movie is like out na, we're gonna watch it. he said fiesta man sa Carmen. Then after that i like txtd him again then he said, "Kadali lang ky nag-away mi sa akong gf." Oh my god, =( my heart.. i didn't know what it felt that time.. Then Wednesday came, i couldn't help but ask, "nagbalik na mo sa imo gf noh?" He said "Oo" then a msg after that was "Sorry".. I replied, "ok lang, i can understand" Then he replied "I was afraid" I asked him "Why" (for the afraid part, he must've thought na Why nagbalik sila". he just said "Nagbalik lang mi"...

That's my story now... And i'm aching... trying to win him back? I don't know.. I'm confused... I'll just let him be? I don't know.. Should i fight? For what? Ahhh... all i know is that that has happened.. and i'm just letting it be... Am i a coward? Maybe, maybe not... All i know is that, i miss him, the pestering, the vanity, the child... I miss him and i want him back.. i just don't know how and if it's possible, Im just letting it be....

haha, something i made way way back..

crap, im a fool when im in love.. like this was a year ago too hehehe

just posting those i made way way back =P