a FIGHTER or a LOSeR?

Twas just yesterday when I faced an oddity in life. Twas like something that i had but then twas vague if it was true or i was just mistaking it for something. I wouldn't wanna reiterate bout the incident coz i wasn't even sure what he meant or as to the reality of the words he asked me? It was vague and i've been there before. It wasn't new to me since i came up in a fight with him, the first time i ever stood up for myself and confronted somebody bout stuff he promised he'd do to me. Really, i am a fighter. I’ve the strongest will anybody could ever have and people have always praised me for possessing it. I stick to my will even if it hurts me a lot, even if it puts me in the most aggravating position ever. I don't know if it's just a matter of will or of principle. Vie always been doing stuff that doesn’t make people feel force with stuff they do. I've always valued doing stuff my own way and so I value stuff if people do it on their own, that they decided to do it, that THEY DID IT FOR ME. Weird but I've always given up my happiness just because I wasn't in the position to demand because i was late, because somebody else beat me to the position, but more because i know that im coming in between somebody else’s happiness and right. I’ve never ever fought for myself, for my own place, mainly because im afraid that there really was nothing in there for me, that i was only made to believe because people want to get their way with me. Even so, I only wanted to make people realize and decide if I really have some worth in them. I mean if ever I meant something. I want them to realize or maybe think that IT'S ME... That they can't live without me or even just a simple that they love me and they want to be with me. THEY, just because it didn’t happen to one guy. And where it has lead me, here alone and lonely and wishing that they'd realize that they wanna pick me and want to be with me. But sadly, though the many people i did it to, nobody ever realized I’m worth something. Maybe because I turned my back on them but even so, won't they fight for it if I really mean something? Don't they have the sleepless nights ive had wishing that im there spending time with him, sharing the fun we shared when we were together. Are they losers too that they think just because I turned my back on them that it meant I didn't loved them? That because things happened that fast that there wasn’t anything to it but merely a play, just a game? It's hard dwelling with what if's but still until now, im waiting for even just one person to tell me that i meant a lot to them and he'd want to be with me simply because that was the main reason why i went away. Not because i don’t love them but i love them that much that i wanna see if they're willing to fight for that which they feel for me. But sadly, nobody ever did and ive been badly hurt suffering the consequences of that which i did, just because i want them to be the one fighting for me. I don't know where this would lead. Maybe it'll lead to me growing up alone. Harsh as it maybe, i still did it even if it means being alone for the rest of my life. Because i k now that if ever somebody did, it'll be worth all the pain i gave to me in order to be happy. I might be losing but I’m still fighting to do that which i always did, making that somebody realize that it's me and till such time, id still be the loser I’ve always been. Coz fighting for that which I strongly believe in is something that I’m gonna do for the rest of my life...