Sigh... I'm numb (finally...)
I just got the last straw and that was it. I've had enough. Trusting people is a big issue for me, with intimate relationships i mean. I just can't... I've had it. They're all enough for me.
I just haven't met anybody who could really stick to the person they say they love. I mean for me, Love entails loyalty, fidelity and commitment. Its just impossible to serve two masters at the same time or say like if ever, that the treatment would e like EQUAL. There'll always be someone who's gonna be on top. That can never be for me. I just want to be THE ONLY ONE and it's so hard for people to commit to it, to even keep it. I just can't see why loving is like that for some people coz it never is for me.
And because of this, im vowing to my single life. So what if i'll cry every night coz i wish somebody to love me, hug me and stuff. It'll still be the same anyway if i ever get to be in a relationship. People cant keep the stuff they say. They even forget to comply to a dinner they've kept on saying for some time, what more something that they say they'll keep forever.
I dunno, i just don't feel anything now though i'm opening to spending time with somebody. It's more like a play for me. Acting, role playing and stuff but feelings? I don't feel em anymore. I finally suceeded to shut my door and i'll keep it closed as much as i could. There's just nothin to lovin but disappointments and tears and pain so why love again? I can go be with people who'll treat me special anyway, I can just act and let them feel theyre special to me too to maybe keep it goin bout it's all for show. Like they'd be affected anyway...
Oh well, i'll just be livin me life.
I just got the last straw and that was it. I've had enough. Trusting people is a big issue for me, with intimate relationships i mean. I just can't... I've had it. They're all enough for me.
I just haven't met anybody who could really stick to the person they say they love. I mean for me, Love entails loyalty, fidelity and commitment. Its just impossible to serve two masters at the same time or say like if ever, that the treatment would e like EQUAL. There'll always be someone who's gonna be on top. That can never be for me. I just want to be THE ONLY ONE and it's so hard for people to commit to it, to even keep it. I just can't see why loving is like that for some people coz it never is for me.
And because of this, im vowing to my single life. So what if i'll cry every night coz i wish somebody to love me, hug me and stuff. It'll still be the same anyway if i ever get to be in a relationship. People cant keep the stuff they say. They even forget to comply to a dinner they've kept on saying for some time, what more something that they say they'll keep forever.
I dunno, i just don't feel anything now though i'm opening to spending time with somebody. It's more like a play for me. Acting, role playing and stuff but feelings? I don't feel em anymore. I finally suceeded to shut my door and i'll keep it closed as much as i could. There's just nothin to lovin but disappointments and tears and pain so why love again? I can go be with people who'll treat me special anyway, I can just act and let them feel theyre special to me too to maybe keep it goin bout it's all for show. Like they'd be affected anyway...
Oh well, i'll just be livin me life.
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